Trimming the Pine

The day after Thanksgiving has become, thanks to our children,

a holiday almost bigger than Christmas.

The Christmas music is played while the boys go into the attic and grab all the Christmas boxes.
While the girls wait and wait and watch and giggle for that magical box to appear:
See, an ornament is bought for each child the day after Christmas.
They get a chance to see it as soon as I get home--
but then it is packed away for a whole year,
until the time comes that they can actually hang it up-
-the next day after Thanksgiving.


There's the fairy that looks a lot like one of my girls in fairy-form.

The motorcycle that my son at one time wished he could ride.

That marvelous door to Narnia in tribute to all the precious Radio Theaters to which we listen.

The one that my daughter loves because her name means Dove.

The one that we have two of--one for each twin.
(Click on the picture--the details are great!)

The wonder.
The TRUE and genuine excitement about the small things.

And it is topped off with the rest of the afternoon with my little girls playing "fairies" by their beloved Christmas tree.

Ahh, Christmas.
Only Christ could have thought of this.

~B

The Goal of this Adventure.

The goal of this adventure is to glorify Him.

A goal of this adventure is to have a strong Christ-Loving family.

A goal is to have love so strong, that we can be openly angry with each-other,
and listen to each-others wants and needs.

A goal of this adventure is to realize that you need to be strapped in tight
in the roller-coaster of life.

And to hold each-others hands when we get scared, or frustrated or hurt.

When I picture this family of six,
I picture them trying hard to honor Christ-
even though they will all fail
-parents included.

When I look at the goal,
I see Heaven.

Oh Father, please guide us through the rocky terrain of life.
Help us to lift our worries to you....
our pains to you,
our happinesses to you.

All to You!

Please help us reach that goal=
Only You are strong enough to carry us there.

~B

Send Them to Bed with a Kiss--Repost

SEND THEM TO BED WITH A KISS

(from HeartThrobs~The Old Scrap Book 1905)

O mothers, so weary, discouraged,
Worn out with the cares of the day,
You often grow cross and impatient,
Complain of the noise and the play;
For the day brings so many vexations,
So many things go amiss;
But Mothers, whatever may vex you,
Send the children to bed with a kiss!

The dear little feet wander often,
Perhaps, from the pathway of right,
The dear little hands find new mischief
To try you from morning till night;
But think of the desolate mothers
Who'd give all the world for your bliss,
And, as thanks for your infinite blessings,
Send the children to bed with a kiss!

For some day their noise will not vex you,
The silence will hurt you far more;
You will long for their sweet childish voices,
For a sweet childish face at the door;
And to press a child's face to your bosom,
You'd give all the world for just this!
For the comfort 'twill bring you in sorrow,
Send the children to bed with a kiss!
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The Power of Your Smile.

Dear Son,

Do you know that right now this is my favorite photo of you? It's you with a real smile on your handsome face. I asked you and your sister to pose for a photo in your TKD outfits and while I was trying to get your little sister to hold still long enough for a picture without a flash, I happened to get this beautiful, wonderful picture. Thank you for forgetting just for a flash moment to not have your "serious" face on. I love it!

~Mama

Wow.

Photo by fulllifephoto.com

Paper-Route

The sister's are sick and their coughs are too much--
I ask you two to deliver their papers for their route--
and without much thought--
you both get bundled up--
and you go ahead and do it for them--
just because that's
who you both are.

I adore you all.

~B

Trying to Remember to Trust

Wake up.

Read news on the web.

Wake up children and evaluate if they are well enough to go to the home-schooling co-op.

If they are well:
~Get them ready for the day to head out the
door at 11:00am.
~Head to Pizza Hut to use "Book-Its" coupons.
~Go to home-schooling co-op and lead a group of kids in a class.and pretend you know what you are doing.
~Run, run, run, run

If they are not well:
1)Figure out what to do since you are the only one teaching the class (in another town).
2) Cancel the class (Which would be incredibly hard because
I would have to somehow figure out how to get everyone
notified).

3)Figure out if someone could stay with my sick children
while I go and teach a class that I signed up to teach
months ago.

I hate mornings like this.

~B

UPDATE: Everyone is feeling good--now onto that busy day.

Oh Goodness.......

We had her and her Grandma and Mom over last night and it gave me a glimpse into this warped world that this baby will have to come into if it's not put into an adoptive home.

I cringe just thinking about it.

We told her of how serious a baby is.

She spoke of how stressed she is that she has to work 20 hours a week.

We told her of the financial responsibility that a family it.

She spoke of how "his parents won't let him marry me".

We tried to explain to her that if she decides to keep the child that she couldn't be anything less than the best.

She talked about how awful it was that "he only got 7 hours of sleep last night".

We told her that parenting isn't for weaklings and cowards if you want the best for your child.

She told us of how she and her boyfriend "talk to stuffed animals" when they are missing each other.

Something that is this inconceivable, should not be happening.

I can already see her future and I want to scream.

She has no idea what is about to happen.

She has no comprehension of how serious this REALLY is.

She has no idea of how giving this baby up for adoption would be the BEST reality it would ever have.

Excuse me while I faint.

~B

Too Much, Too Soon

A teenage girl that I love and have "counseled" for the past few years is pregnant.

I spent Friday between tears and anger.

I spent Saturday between calmness and praying.

I called her and her Grandma yesterday and invited them over for supper this week.

I don't know what to say, but I just need to talk to them.

And help them.

And cry with them.

And ask her the question: "Remember all the talks we had about your Christian witness being lost if you would choose this path of life?"

Oh sweetie, if you could just imagine what a hard, hard lesson you are learning. Children don't make you automatically an adult.

Who will help you when it is screaming because of bubbles in the tummy?
Who will talk you out of screaming at the child when they have frustrated you beyond belief?
Who will help you financially when you aren't able to pay the bills?
Who will hold that little one when it needs comforting and you would rather go on Facebook and watch movies and make out with your boyfriend?

Parenting is so much more than just having a baby--it's so much more than having a "pink baby bag" and "matching stroller". It's so much more than tv shows on parenting and baby websites.

So much more.

It's about raising a HUMAN to become ALL that they can become.

It's about raising a soul to know and trust Christ.

It's all about eternity and nothing to do with the now.

Oh, sweetie... make sure you know that you want to be the BEST parent before you choose to be the parent of this child.

There are lots of other parents out there that would be more than happy to have it and raise it in a good home.

Believe me, there are.

~B

Expectations of Parenting

When the children were younger, the rules were so much easier.

• "Don't touch that."
• "Don't say rude words."
• "Don't hit."
• "Don't run out into the street."
• "Don't throw your food."
• "Touch the kitty softly."
  

These things are easy. These things are clear to my head.

But now, they are older. The rules are harder and it's more difficult to know what boundaries to put up and what freedoms to hand them.

Maybe it's the handing them part that I am failing at. Maybe I need to make them earn or work for what they expect???? It's so hard to know right now.

Example: When they were younger, table manners were a must. We were really patient with them; one can't expect a four year old to not spill food or to keep neat. But now that they are much older than that, I want to expect good table manners, but I also don't want to be the "table police" monitoring their every move...... I want them to feel the freedoms that they have earned, without me breathing down their necks.

I have been asking God to help me. I need to know what boundaries to put up for a 12 year old, 2 eleven year olds and a seven year old. I was ultimately "perfect" at knowing what to expect from them when they were younger, now I seem to fail at every attempt to do what I need to do.

See, the problem is that I want them to have freedoms. I also want them to respect their parents. It seems that the more freedoms we give them, the more they expect. EXPECT seems to be their motto right now.

They EXPECT to watch TV. They EXPECT to get computer time. They EXPECT to watch home videos whenever THEY want. They EXPECT to be able to goof off (in a disrespectful way) when they WANT to. And when these expectations are limited they look at me and tilt their heads and say "What?!?!" (in a round about way).

I know that it's MY fault.

I have set their standards lower than I should have. I need to teach them to be thankful, I need to teach them to appreciate what we give them. I need to teach them not to just EXPECT that everything will just fall into their lap.

I know that it's not just a "magic pill" that I can give them to get them to understand that life isn't just about getting. I know that it's something that starts the day they are born and you teach them as they grow. The toddler years were exhausting physically, now it's the mental exhaustion stage, I guess.

It's just that this stage seems so much more.........difficult.

Excuse me for my rambling. But I EXPECT that just by posting this, it will take a load off of my mind.

~B

Christmas is Already a Memory......

Time came.
Time went.
They grow.
They bless.
They are amazing.
Thank you, Lord, for these children you have given us.
Thank you for these scrumptious memories and moments,
That are gone in a camera's flash.
And soon that will be all that is left of this time.
--------
Two older parents sitting on a couch, looking at those photos,
reminiscing about the past.
About their children.
About the past Christmas' joys.
-------
What a delightful life this has been.

~B

Funny Story

If I can explain this well, it's a VERY funny story, so hang with me.....

Two weeks ago I had to take my son to a natural health clinic to get something about his eye checked up on. We got into the examination room, the nurse came in and asked him different questions about his health.

One of the questions that she asked was if there was anything that he was allergic to. I answered that he doesn't drink dairy-milk because of allergies that he had when he was an infant. She asked what he does drink and I told her "Rice-milk". The lady sort of looked at me funny and wrote it down and went on her merry way.

Then, a few days later we were back in this office for a check-up on his eye. The Dr. came in, was very pleased with the results and had to go into the other room to get something. As he was leaving he handed me my son's medical sheet, I just thumbed cautiously through it with a gleam in my eye because I felt like I was reading something that I wasn't supposed to.

Under where it lists allergies, I saw that she had noted that he drinks: Breast-milk.

What?

An 11 year old boy still drinking breast-milk?

I soon realized that the woman looked at me strangely when I said, "Rice-milk" because she thought I said what she thought I had said (see above).

I told the kids about it, we had a really good laugh (we were all in the room) and then I hastily scribbled out "Breast-milk" and wrote "RICE MILK" in big letters..... so that if anyone had any doubts, they would understand what he really drinks.

Just think, that nurse probably won't ever read his allergy chart again, and everytime she sees me, she'll think of what he pours on his cereal in the morning.

Ha,

~B

Memorization

As the world swirls around with economy falling apart, people having no real truths, and strange things happening everywhere, I paused in my life and realized how I need to teach my children scripture memorization.

We have our Bibles, our computers, our everything that could be taken away from us, but nothing will be able to take away my children's memories that are inside of their heads.

If I intentionally implant in their minds the Word of God, and the "good" times that we know go away, well, then I have enriched their minds with the Holy Scripture, and what a wonderful thing that is.

~B

Feeling the Empty Nest

For the past 11 years, I have been a mother.
I have wiped bottoms, noses and highchairs endlessly.
I have hugged, disciplined and laughed too many times to count.
I have had amazing days where I didn't want it to end and
I have had days, that I wished would have never started.

Yesterday, I felt it all starting to slowly, painfully slip away.

See, my children are no longer:

• newborns
• toddlers
• Kindergarteners

They are now on that part of life where, little by little, they are gaining their independence from me. This is how it's supposed to be. Where I work myself, ever so slowly, out of a job.

But yesterday hurt.
All four children were off somewhere.
Somewhere playing with their friends.
Somewhere playing at the pool.
Somewhere dreaming about their futures.

And I was washing dishes wondering who I will be when they are gone, out of this house and onto their lives.

Who will I be?

I know that if you aren't a stay at home mom, you won't understand. You have your careers, you have your friends, you have all that surrounding you. I have these four souls surrounding me. What will I be without them?

In 12 short years, all of my children will be 18 and above. I have lived in this house almost 12 years. All four of the children were welcomed into this very home the day they came back from the hospital. All of my important and major memories are here:

• Bringing home my first-born son, me and my husband being amazed at what a tiny little creature we helped bring into this world.
  
• Wanting more children, getting pregnant with twins. Having a difficult time as they struggled through the NICU.
  
• Getting pregnant again, having to rush to the hospital because labor was going so fast. Having an incredible birth and the nurse telling us, "That's the most peaceful birth I have ever witnessed."

The diapers, the noses, the tears, the fights, the happinesses, the frustrations. The sleepless nights!

The growing. The growing. The growing.

They can all go to the pool without me now.

Maybe you don't see the significance in that:
They can all go to the pool without me now.

Just last year, my youngest wasn't able to go without me.

Where is my purpose going? Where is this all headed.

They're growing. This is good, right?

I am teaching them to be future adults. I am teaching them to be future mothers and fathers.

I am teaching them how to live and love.

I make so many mistakes. But God is good...... a friend always says that, and it strikes me as incredibly encouraging. God is good. He will take my mistakes and He will work through them.

But I am still right back at where I started. What will I be in 12 years?

I don't want to be a career-woman.

I want to be a mom.

I don't want to work in an office.

I want to be a mom.

What will I be, when the time comes for them to go?

A mom, but to what?

Four adults that don't really need me.....

Will I spend my days cleaning a house that's already clean enough? Will I stand by the sink and pretend to wash dishes? Will I wish that there were clothes to wash and fold?

What is there that God has planned for this little person in the world?

I want to be a mom.

My inner most desire is to be a mom.

I want nothing else.

Like an artist who knows nothing except to do his art, I want to be this mom.

~B

Little Fish in a BIG Sea

As a kid, I was always concerned with keeping all the other kids happy. If someone called me a name, I just got a lump in my throat and took it. If someone pushed me around, I did the same. I just didn't feel like it was right for me to push back, to defend myself.

Of course now I can see that that was a mistake and I am taking action with my children to try and help them see their worth and to not put up with junk like this with people. I can see now that it's fine to be mean in certain situations.

So, here I am, a mother to four children, that are absolutely peaceful kids. Sure, they get into regular fights with each-other and the like, but so far, they have really been compassionate with others and how they treat them.

But now I see how they are just like I was when I was a kid: too scared to defend themselves..... Too scared to lose a "friend" by telling that person to back off a bit.

We go to a little church in a little town and there are my four children, and a 12 year old, a ten year old and a handful of toddlers,etc. When my children go to church now, they have to deal with the very snotty 12 year old, especially if the ten year old is around.... it's not a good combination!

Tonight, while our church was having a special dinner, the kids were in another part of the building. These two girls decided to take it upon themselves to "critique" my two girls in a separate room while no one was around. It wasn't pretty.

The girls asked them questions like, "How much allowance do you get? Oh, that's all?, I get like $10 for helping around the house." Other stupid kid things like this. Things that make me want to come unglued and go up to those kids and scream!

One of the girls, who we tend to see a lot and who tends to be very snotty most of the time to my children, told my girls, "Well, your mom yells at me more than my mom, isn't that strange?" Yeah, it's strange, girl, because the next time I see you, my eyes will want to lazor beam your head......

So, after the festivities were finished at church, we got the low-down about how mean these two girls were to our girls, and it was such a terrible struggle to get my children to see how they need to stand up for themselves. It was so eerily like how I was, I just wanted to shake them by the shoulders and yell, "Don't be stupid, like I was!! You are worthy being treated well by these girls!!"

The problem is, that my girls want to keep the peace, they don't want to lose these "friends" and we tried to explain to them how that's not how friends are supposed to treat each-other consistently!

How in the world can I get them to understand that they don't need these people in their lives? And how can I get them to not be how I was!

I am older now and just learning/grasping the concept that it's okay to tell others not to treat me a certain way, and in some circumstances I am still too weak to stand up for myself!

I am hoping that my kids can learn, far better and earlier than I did to stand up for what's right.

~B

Ever So Thankful.....

With all of the darkness and violence and mental illness invading the world. I stop and contemplate my little teeny-tiny family.

My ten year old loves me.

My other children love me.

and

They know they are loved.

Deeply.

Genuinely.

Really.

A gunman, in Omaha?

That's too close for comfort.

A mere 4 hours away.

8 people plus himself, killed?

Scary.

Sad.

The news said that when he was ten, he threatened to kill his step-mom.

I don't know his situations from his life.

I don't know who his parents were/are.

I just know that I am

deeply

Grateful

for having my kids here

with me.

I am thankful for having to yell at them for

"being too loud",

or

"not listening".

I would rather have that than

have one of them threaten my life.

I am so thankful for my home.

For my stable enviroment here.

I am thankful for my husband who is faithful

and

loving

and

God-fearing.

We all need a little more of that fear in our hearts, don't you think?

Thank you Father, for all of these humongous blessings that

you have bestowed upon this little family.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

~B

I home-educate my kids. At times it's frustrating with being an "at-home" educator because of "regular" life things. The past few weeks have been a good example of how easy it is for this specific HS family to get de-railed.

In a public school setting, the kids would be taken to school in the morning and they wouldn't get home until the middle of the afternoon. The mother then would either have the option of staying at home and keeping busy there or going to work outside the home.

Staying at home during this time, while the kids were at school, would more than likely afford the luxuries of getting all the housework done (or most of it?), getting to things that she is behind on and also having the opportunities to do "extra" things, like getting together for coffee occassionally with others. I'm not saying that this is the case for all "s-a-h-Moms", but I am guessing that a lot of them, take these opportunities at times in their lives.

A Home-educating mom is different. She sets her priorities in front of herself, and she decides what needs to be done for the kids' education and then she balances it out with life. Being HOME is an education in itself for the children, teaching them to deal with the "intteruptions" of life is an important thing so that it doesn't hit them in the face when they are out of the nest. But when the intteruptions become an everyday thing, then it is time for the mother of the pack to set down some very clear boundaries for herself and the children.

Life has been full of ups and downs lately in my extended family. I have been helping one of them and I have been more than happy to be of help. No problems there. The problems are serious enough that I need to take time away from the everyday schedule of HS, and I have been good with it. But now I need to start re-prioritizing.

Since I am a HS, SAHM (you follow?) I am a rare breed and I am almost always home. This means that people know that I am home and that since I am home, well then they feel comfortable letting me take care of their children. No problem. But in the past, it has become a problem and I have started in the past year to start saying no to the people that asked quite often, especially during the school day.

Now, I am not trying to give the impression of complaint right now, that is not at all my point. It's just that I have learned AGAIN about myself that I need to RE-set my boundaries, which are so easy for me to be lax about. I want to make people happy...... By not helping them....... I won't be making them happy, right?

So, this past Monday and Tuesday, school was all set to go, and then life got in the way. Serious family things were needing serious attention. And then a valuable friend needed help with us watching her child because the childcare provider's relative died, no problem whatsoever! I was and am happy that we were able to help care for that child. Then, during yesterday someone else called and asked me to watch their child, sort of in an assuming way, and I just had to stand back and say, "This is fine, I love these people, I need to help." And with all of my heart I am fine with it that another school day was eaten away.

Mind you, my children helped immensley with these other children. And children are blessings and so by us having those children here, we were incredibly blessed! It was an education in itself, but it still wasn't their subjects......

So today, someone stopped by and asked if I was going to someone's house tomorrow for dessert (I had received an invitation). I told her, "No, I wasn't able to teach the children on Monday or Tuesday, I really have to prioritize their schooling over this." The person looked at me and snottily said, "Oh! Wow."

I have to come to accept this. I cannot change my boundaries all the time for everyone else. I just can't. But why is this "Oh! Wow" moment so hard for me to accept. Why do I even have to explain myself?? I do not have to explain my boundaries! I need to realize this........

Just. Needed. To. Vent.

~B

Simply Amazing

Words are not adequate

to share with you

how difficult the first few years were

AND

how incredibly exhaustingly

hard it was.

But now,

though of course there are trials,

the happiness within these two

brings tears to my eyes

because

I once thought

that there would be no happiness.

at all.

And now it abounds

in everyway.

~B

The Worth of a Mother (?)

Stay-at-home mother's work worth $138,095 a year

Wed May 2, 3:00 PM ET

If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.
A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home.
(Reporting by Ellen Wulfhorst)

----------
Wow.... I'm RICH!

Now I can rest on my laurels. ;-)
~B