Ahhh!

Buying my friend some tulips and a vase: Wonderful

Spending time with that friend and just talking: Wonderful

Going home with no plans for the rest of the day: Wonderful

Cuddling with the Husband and watching old Lost episodes online: Wonderful

A day without anxiety attacks: Priceless.

~B

He Can See Something Else

Like Samwise, I am here for you.

We will make it up this daunting mountain.

We will help each other as we climb.

Your hurt is more than mine, yet I love you and so, a lot of the time,

I think I almost hurt as strongly as you.

I see your tears.

I see your writhing in emotional pain and I hurt.

We will make it--it doesn't seem like it will be a "fun" ride, but we will make it.

"From this one moment I can't see very far, From this one moment I'm square in the dark, These are the things I will trust in my heart: You can see something else." ~S. Groves

He sees something else.

He sees the intricately woven tapestry.

It's beautiful, yet ferociously created.

Life is so heavy and painful right now for you, and for me--it's going to be a beautiful creation when it's over and we can look back on it.

Because He is in control.

I promise.

~B

Identity

To Whom it May Concern:

A boundary has been crossed, I think hope you realize that.

Give him space to breathe.

Don't muck up his name-it will just roll off because the people that really know him, REALLY know him-and his heart is GOOD.

And what you say about him doesn't matter to him, he finds his WHOLE identity in Christ.

Not in you.

Not in me.

It's between him and God now. It's not between anyone else.

~B

My King!

Storm Clouds

There are storm clouds in our life right now.

I am trusting that the Lord is having them there for a reason.
I am not going to believe that evil is in control.
I am going to believe that this is happening so that
we can all grow closer to what He wants.

The "birth" process is incredibly painful.

But it brings blessings in the end.

~B

From a Past Post (2006) But I Needed It Today.

By Elisabeth Elliot
When there is deep misunderstanding which has led to the erection of barriers between two who once were close, every day brings the strengthening of those barriers if they are not, by God's grace, breached. One prays and finds no way at all to break through. Love seems to "backfire" every time. Explanations become impossible. New accusations arise, it seems, from nowhere (though it is well to recall who is named the Accuser of the brethren). The situation becomes ever more complex and insoluble, and the mind goes round and round, seeking the place where things went wrong, brooding over the words which were like daggers, regretting the failures and mistakes, wondering (most painfully) how it could have been different. Much spiritual and emotional energy is drained in this way--but the Lord wants to teach us to commit, trust, and rest.

"Leave him to me this afternoon," is what his word is. "There is nothing else that I am asking of you this afternoon but that: leave him to Me. You cannot fathom all that is taking place. You don't need to. I am at work--in you, in him. Leave him to Me. Some day it will come clear--trust Me."

"Humble yourselves under God's mighty hand, and he will lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on Him, for you [and the other] are his charge" (l Pt 5:7).
=========

Circles

There's a cycle that my husband and I have noticed in our relationship.....
It's in the shape of a circle.

---------------------

You start at the top-
You are new to each-other,
In love with each-other,
Happy to see one another.
Passionate.
Loving.
Under a spell, if you will.

Then you hit a patch,
it gets bumpy.
It's hard to communicate.
It's hard to want to be loving/respectful to one another.
It's hard to understand each-other.
The passion fades.
Feelings are hurt.
You start to like each-other less.
Time spent apart.
Communication gap.

Tears.
Tears.
Anger.
Tears.

It's normal.
It's where we have to put our hearts
into God's hands completely.
We reach out to Him.
We cling onto Him.

We don't let go of Him.
We try to encourage one another, while grasping for the Life-Vest
that will save our marriage
once again.

And soon,
if we hang on long enough.
The passion will come back.
The pain will subside.
The anger will be dealt with.
The communication is slow, but at least it starts.
Trying to fall back under
that spell
called
a
Good
Marriage.

~B

Like I've said before:
Good Marriage=Hard work.

This Too Shall Pass

{Hat-tip: Food for the Body, Mind and Soul Blog.}

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

Helen Steiner Rice

My Heart is in Haiti.

I am hurting.

I have a dear Haitian friend that I took care of for about 6 or 7 months that's in her 60's, that lives in Port-Au-Prince.

Her name is Julia.

I know that she didn't get crushed in the earthquake, but I don't know much more.

She has diabetes.

She had a stroke about a year ago.

And I look at those pictures, and I wonder how she'll get the help that she needs.

And then I lay in bed at night, and I think: Take Julia and mulitply it by the thousands.

And all I can do is sit in my beautiful house in my beautiful clothes and do nothing.

Nothing.

But the Lord has reassured me that I can pray.



And pray.

And pray.

And you should pray too.

~B

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love this time of the year--Christmas week.

My hubby is usually home for the week after the Holidays and I love it.

We stay up late laughing.

We do projects.

We make good food.

Sometimes we don't make food at all= cereal.

We go sledding.

We sometimes go to a movie.

We just bum.

It's LUXURIOUS.

It's b e a u t i f u l.

It's pure family.

It's wonderful to have him around-he brings SO very much to the dynamic of this family.

Thank you, Hubby, for it all!!

And, Lord, with all gratefulness, thank you for this beautiful slice of life.

~B

The Goal of this Adventure.

The goal of this adventure is to glorify Him.

A goal of this adventure is to have a strong Christ-Loving family.

A goal is to have love so strong, that we can be openly angry with each-other,
and listen to each-others wants and needs.

A goal of this adventure is to realize that you need to be strapped in tight
in the roller-coaster of life.

And to hold each-others hands when we get scared, or frustrated or hurt.

When I picture this family of six,
I picture them trying hard to honor Christ-
even though they will all fail
-parents included.

When I look at the goal,
I see Heaven.

Oh Father, please guide us through the rocky terrain of life.
Help us to lift our worries to you....
our pains to you,
our happinesses to you.

All to You!

Please help us reach that goal=
Only You are strong enough to carry us there.

~B

Elisabeth Elliot

This article is really beautiful--It's so very, very true for me-- each child brings on more blessings and it's an honor to be a part of the process of helping them learn self-denial.

~B

A Child Learns Self-Denial--by Elisabeth Elliot

One of the countless blessings of my life is having a daughter who actually asks for my prayers and my advice (and heeds the latter). She phoned from California one morning, describing the difficulties of home-schooling three children in grades six, four, and one, when you also have a four-year-old who is doing nursery school and a two-year-old, Colleen, who wants to do everything. And since Evangeline Mary was born, a nursing baby now claims attention as well. How to give Colleen proper attention and teach her also to occupy herself quietly for what seemed to her long periods? Valerie was deeply concerned over whether she was doing all she should for that little one.

I reminded her of the women of Bible times--while probably not homeschooling her children, an ordinary village woman would have been working very hard most of the time, carrying heavy water jars, grinding grain, sweeping, planting and cooking while tending children. This was true also of the Indians with whom Val grew up. An Indian mother never interrupted her day's work to sit down with a small child and play or read a story, yet the children were more or less always with her, watching her work, imitating her, learning informally. They had a strong and secure home base, "and so have yours," I told her. "Don't worry! You are not doing Colleen an injustice. Quite the contrary. You are giving her wonderful things: a stable home, your presence in that home, a priceless education just in the things she observes."

The demands on Val, as on any mother of small children, are pretty relentless, of course. She does all the housework with the help of the children (a schedule of chores is posted on the refrigerator). People usually gasp when I tell them the number of my grandchildren. "Wow," said one, "it takes a special woman to have that many children." Special? Not really. Millions have done it. But it takes grace, it takes strength, it takes humility, and God stands ready to give all that is needed.

I suggested to Valerie that perhaps she could define the space which Colleen was allowed to play in during school time, and make it very clear to her that school time was quiet time for her brothers and sisters. When Valerie was Colleen's age she had to learn to play quietly alone because I was occupied for a good portion of every day in Bible translation work, or in teaching literacy and Bible classes in our house. She knew she was not to interrupt except for things I defined as "important." At that time there were seldom children of her age to play with, and she had neither siblings nor father, yet she was happy and, I think, well-adjusted. (For a certain period we had the added difficulty of living with a missionary family of six children under nine whose mother felt obliged to be more or less available for her children every minute--they were thought too young to learn not to interrupt. It was not an ordered home, and the mother herself was exhausted most of the time.)

Does this training seem hard on the child, impossible for the mother? I don't think it is. The earlier the parents begin to make the laws of order and beauty and quietness comprehensible to their children, the sooner they will acquire good, strong notions of what is so basic to real godliness: self-denial. A Christian home should be a place of peace, and there can be no peace where there is no self-denial.

Christian parents are seeking to fit their children for their inheritance in Christ. A sense of the presence of God in the home is instilled by the simple way He is spoken of, by prayer not only at meals but in family devotions and perhaps as each child is tucked into bed. The Bible has a prominent place, and it is a greatly blessed child who grows up, as I did, in a hymn-singing family. Sam and Judy Palpant of Spokane have such a home. "Each of our children has his or her own lullaby which I sing before prayer time and the final tucking into bed," Judy wrote. "That lullaby is a special part of our bedtime ritual. Whenever other children spend the night we sing 'Jesus Loves Me' as their lullaby. What a joy it was on the most recent overnighter to have the three Edminster children announce, `We have our own lullabies now!' Matt, who is twelve and who can be so swayed by the world, said, `Mine is "Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross."'"

The task of parents is to show by love and by the way they live that they belong to another Kingdom and another Master, and thus to turn their children's thoughts toward that Kingdom and that Master. The "raw material" with which they begin is thoroughly selfish. They must gently lay the yoke of respect and consideration for others on those little children, for it is their earnest desire to make of them good and faithful servants and, as Janet Erskine Stuart expressed it, "to give saints to God."

Surely it was not coincidence that my friend Ann Kiemel Anderson called just as I was finishing the above piece. She had just received little William Brandt, her fourth adopted son. The others were four and three years old and ten months. She was thrilled, and not nearly as exhausted as she expected to be, thankful for the gift of the child and for the gift of the needed grace and strength for one day (and one night) at a time.

"But oh, Elisabeth!" she said in her huskily soft voice, "when I had only one, I thought I knew all the answers. There is nothing so humbling as having two or three or four children."

I needed that reminder. Jim and I had hoped for at least four children. God gave us one, and that one gave me hardly any reason for serious worry, let alone despair. She was malleable. What "worked" for her may not work for another child, but I offer my suggestions anyway--gleaned not only from experience as the child of my parents and the parent of my child, but from observation of others. My second husband Add Leitch, whose first wife had died, had three daughters. "If I'd only had two, I could've written a book on child training," he once told me. One of them proved to him that he couldn't.

What is Going On?

When my children were very, very young (4,2,2 and newborn) a relative had told us that they were having family over, but that we weren't invited because there were now 6 of us and could we possibly come after dinner because it was just too many people to feed.

I was astounded and hurt and dumb-founded... I told that person that they have to remember that we are FAMILY and that they had no right to tell us that because we were now six people that we took up too much food/too much space (and how much do a 4 year old, two 2 year olds and a NEWBORN eat anyway--last time I checked--not very much.....). I told them that we are family and that they should be happy that we are part of their family--and a bunch of other stuff that probably never stuck to their heads. Oh well--it's all in the past.

So, today, a friendly family member asked if they would see us over Christmas, and I said- Yes, of course we will see each other because we will be there on the 25th--then sad confusion from the other person saying that they are celebrating Christmas with the family on the 28th and not the 25th..... I told them that they just must not have told us yet....

But now, I got an e-mail from the family that is having everyone over--and they said that they realized that this friendly family member accidentally let us know about the "other" Christmas get-together and how welcome we are to come, and how of course they want us over and how they just figured that my husband had to work anyway....which he never does because he takes a week of vacation that week (and he has been doing that for YEARS--and if they would think about it they would soon realize that they know that.....).

So, anyway--I guess I shouldn't be surprised--we are SIX people, you know--and we eat A LOT of food--I guess.......

But, now I have this issue of dealing with the frustration and anger about it all and I came here to blog, but scared to blog at the same time because the friendly family member is the only one in our families allowed to read it, and I don't want them to feel bad, and I don't want any others of the family to know how I'm feeling......

The thing that really BITES is that my Hubby has a sibling and I absolutely DO NOT think that they would have excluded HIM and his family (this isn't his siblings fault.... it's just that they have two less kids??? Or maybe they eat less, or they're more sociable, etc????)

Oh well. I absolutely can't be surprised- we go through junk to shape and mold our hearts and the Lord must need me to learn who I am and how I need to respond. I would really like to respond in a very hurtful and mean way--but the harness of the Lord is on my neck, at least for the moment{if I don't decide to suddenly and furiously rip it off).

Satan would like nothing more than for this to become a hurtful and bitter battle and all I can do is sit in my Father's lap and hurt while He holds me and helps me sort it all out.

{{Hug}} to the friendly family member--this post is just between us, okay?

~B

Again, Please Pray.

Here is a picture from over a year ago of the Arnold family. Deron, in the yellow, passed away on the 8th of November; now today-the 27th-Sharon passed away.

In the middle of the picture is the woman that we need to pray for--the only one left in her family: her name is Dawn. In one month, she has lost her only brother and her only mother. Her father died over ten years ago.

Please pray for comfort for her and her child and her husband.

Also please pray for comfort for Deron's widow, Jan.




~B

Where is It that I Need to Be?

I'm tired and down this morning.

I haven't been sleeping good.

I wake up and lay there wondering how my Lord wants to use me with my church-it's very mind-consuming.

I want to make a difference.

I want to make a difference for Christ.

I have felt the nudge to do many things for my church, but it seems like hardly anyone else gets on board and I am feeling very low about that (amongst other things) right now.

I want to reach people for Christ.

I want to be in a body of people that truly want to "give chase to souls" for eternity.

I am feeling lost.

We had a a children's ministry for little ones.

That was seven years ago.

They all grew and we changed the ministry to include other ages.

And the kids got rowdy, and we tried to do that for a few years and we moved to a gym.

The gym was a good plan, but the kids were rowdier than my spouse and I could handle.

So, this summer, after A LOT of discussion, we decided to not do it anymore.

It was a BIG decision.

But, the Lord brought someone else in to work with these kids and it's still going and I am so happy about that. I just hope that it continues next year.

Last night we had a get-together at our church for these kids. We had them put together "Operation Christmas Child" boxes and seeing the children, hurt.

One part of me was SO glad to not be the one yelling at them, but the other part of me wanted to cry, because we put so much time and energy into that ministry and those relationships, and now it's done.

I have been in a transitionary(sp) period the past few months, praying and thinking, and praying and thinking, about how and where God wants to use me within HIS church.

And I don't know what to do, or where to go or who to turn to.

I want to start things, I want to fire up my church. But if I'm the only one doing the enthusiasm, is that where I am supposed to be?

Please show me, Lord where you want me and what you want me to be doing.

This limbo stuff confuses me and I don't feel useful.

~B

Just a Reminder to Myself

I was reminded of this scripture this morning. I just thought that I would share. If you want some background on the verse, read Job.

~B

Job 38

The LORD Speaks

¹ Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said:

² "Who is this that darkens my counsel
with words without knowledge?

³ Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

⁴ "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.

⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

⁶ On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone-

⁷ while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels ^a]">[a] shouted for joy?

⁸ "Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,

⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,

¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,

¹¹ when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt'?

¹² "Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,

¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?

¹⁴ The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.

¹⁵ The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.

¹⁶ "Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?

¹⁷ Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death ^b]">[b] ?

¹⁸ Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.

¹⁹ "What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?

²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?

²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!

²² "Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,

²³ which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?

²⁴ What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?

²⁵ Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,

²⁶ to water a land where no man lives,
a desert with no one in it,

²⁷ to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?

²⁸ Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?

²⁹ From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens

³⁰ when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?

³¹ "Can you bind the beautiful ^c]">[c] Pleiades?
Can you loose the cords of Orion?

³² Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons ^d]">[d]
or lead out the Bear ^e]">[e] with its cubs?

³³ Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God's ^f]">[f] dominion over the earth?

³⁴ "Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?

³⁵ Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, 'Here we are'?

³⁶ Who endowed the heart ^g]">[g] with wisdom
or gave understanding to the mind ^h]">[h] ?

³⁷ Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens

³⁸ when the dust becomes hard
and the clods of earth stick together?

³⁹ "Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions

⁴⁰ when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in a thicket?

⁴¹ Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?

Job 39

¹ "Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?

² Do you count the months till they bear?
Do you know the time they give birth?

³ They crouch down and bring forth their young;
their labor pains are ended.

⁴ Their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds;
they leave and do not return.

⁵ "Who let the wild donkey go free?
Who untied his ropes?

⁶ I gave him the wasteland as his home,
the salt flats as his habitat.

⁷ He laughs at the commotion in the town;
he does not hear a driver's shout.

⁸ He ranges the hills for his pasture
and searches for any green thing.

⁹ "Will the wild ox consent to serve you?
Will he stay by your manger at night?

¹⁰ Can you hold him to the furrow with a harness?
Will he till the valleys behind you?

¹¹ Will you rely on him for his great strength?
Will you leave your heavy work to him?

¹² Can you trust him to bring in your grain
and gather it to your threshing floor?

¹³ "The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
but they cannot compare with the pinions and feathers of the stork.

¹⁴ She lays her eggs on the ground
and lets them warm in the sand,

¹⁵ unmindful that a foot may crush them,
that some wild animal may trample them.

¹⁶ She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;
she cares not that her labor was in vain,

¹⁷ for God did not endow her with wisdom
or give her a share of good sense.

¹⁸ Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,
she laughs at horse and rider.

¹⁹ "Do you give the horse his strength
or clothe his neck with a flowing mane?

²⁰ Do you make him leap like a locust,
striking terror with his proud snorting?

²¹ He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength,
and charges into the fray.

²² He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
he does not shy away from the sword.

²³ The quiver rattles against his side,
along with the flashing spear and lance.

²⁴ In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground;
he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.

²⁵ At the blast of the trumpet he snorts, 'Aha!'
He catches the scent of battle from afar,
the shout of commanders and the battle cry.

²⁶ "Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom
and spread his wings toward the south?

²⁷ Does the eagle soar at your command
and build his nest on high?

²⁸ He dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;
a rocky crag is his stronghold.

²⁹ From there he seeks out his food;
his eyes detect it from afar.

³⁰ His young ones feast on blood,
and where the slain are, there is he."

Please Pray

Deron has died today.

He is no longer suffering.

But please, please pray for his amazing wife and beautiful children, please.

http://deronarnold.blogspot.com/

~B

Winters-a-comin'

Winter work hours will soon be upon us.

This means less money.

We are "used" to the less money part at this time of year,

BUT there's a very large chance that my Hubby will get laid off or let go this year.

That sounds pretty scary.

I don't work but 18 hours a month--otherwise I am busy at home teaching the children, loving the children and drowning in housework.

It will be nice to have my hubby home more--not so nice to look at the dogs and wonder what size roast they would make (not to mention the taste).

My Hubby hasn't said anything to make me panic, he always keeps a cool head about these things, at least on the outside.

He tells me that the Lord can handle little, tiny details like him not having work
--with a wife that stays home.
--and 4 hungry children--that eat a lot.

I read a post one time about a family with four kids and the hubby lost his job.
They made the best out of it--they enjoyed themselves--and when I read her posts from then, they had such peace.

I need to practice that too.

And with Hubby home more--maybe we can really get creative with how we make those roasts....

~B

And I heard that carp from the river does not make good sushi. ; /

What?!?!

A friend of mine from Lincoln, Nebraska went into a store this morning wearing a simple "Camp So&So" shirt that had a cross on it. A man that WORKED behind the meat counter starting yelling obscenities at her and told her that musl*im is the only true reli*gion and that he hopes she dies.......

What?!?! I mean, I know I live in America and we have freedom of speech--BUT what if HE was walking through the store and SHE was the one working and she screamed the opposite to him?!?!

What's the "new" America got to say about that?

~B

**I found this awesome drawing on the net--don't know who the artist is.

The Bible

Today I had a thought that hit me very hard. I had walked past a pile of books in our living room and I saw out of the corner of my eye our Bible and the thought that I had was, "Treasure this."

It wasn't a positive message said with a happy heart. It was more of a daunting message; an urgent and cautious message.

We so take for granted that book.

If you put all of the Bibles in our house in a pile, it would probably stand 2 feet high--but not because we are Bible fanatics or super-Bible readers, but because when I find them in nice condition at thrift stores and rummage sales and they are incredibly cheap, I purchase them to give to others-and yes, I have.

The children and I often read an incredible devotional called, "Extreme Devotion" by Voice of the Martyrs. The little segment that we usually read at lunch time doesn't take us longer than 5 minutes to read, and the discussion is priceless. It gives story after story of people dying for their Christian faith in devotion to Christ. It doesn't paint a pretty picture, but it does make you realize how serious we should be taking our faith.

Our Bibles sit on our bed-stands waiting to tell us His truth (not ours). Our Bibles wait on our coffee tables wanting to show us what God is REALLY saying (not what WE want it to say). And we sit in our arm-chairs clicking through the myriad of shows that we numbly fill our brains with and we forget the wealth that we have just sitting so close to us.

People say that we can change what the Bible says, we can't.
People say that the Bible doesn't relate to what our lives are like now, it does.

I read the news, I hear what people are saying... BUT

"...as for me and MY house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

~B