The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I love this time of the year--Christmas week.

My hubby is usually home for the week after the Holidays and I love it.

We stay up late laughing.

We do projects.

We make good food.

Sometimes we don't make food at all= cereal.

We go sledding.

We sometimes go to a movie.

We just bum.

It's LUXURIOUS.

It's b e a u t i f u l.

It's pure family.

It's wonderful to have him around-he brings SO very much to the dynamic of this family.

Thank you, Hubby, for it all!!

And, Lord, with all gratefulness, thank you for this beautiful slice of life.

~B

The Goal of this Adventure.

The goal of this adventure is to glorify Him.

A goal of this adventure is to have a strong Christ-Loving family.

A goal is to have love so strong, that we can be openly angry with each-other,
and listen to each-others wants and needs.

A goal of this adventure is to realize that you need to be strapped in tight
in the roller-coaster of life.

And to hold each-others hands when we get scared, or frustrated or hurt.

When I picture this family of six,
I picture them trying hard to honor Christ-
even though they will all fail
-parents included.

When I look at the goal,
I see Heaven.

Oh Father, please guide us through the rocky terrain of life.
Help us to lift our worries to you....
our pains to you,
our happinesses to you.

All to You!

Please help us reach that goal=
Only You are strong enough to carry us there.

~B

Wow.

Photo by fulllifephoto.com

Paper-Route

The sister's are sick and their coughs are too much--
I ask you two to deliver their papers for their route--
and without much thought--
you both get bundled up--
and you go ahead and do it for them--
just because that's
who you both are.

I adore you all.

~B

Illness is in da House...

My son just got done being sick--there are residuals of his illness; a cough, a runny nose. But he's on the upswing.

Now it's my poor hubby. He came home from work early today and has been laying on the couch ever since.

Since Saturday, I have declared war on these terrible little germies that are invading my family. I roll up my sleeves and I get out my book.
I open the book to the closest symptom that my family is suffering, which right now is "Sore Throats"--I read what it has to say and because I have opened this book so many times over the years, I know what it has to say, but I read it just to make sure that I 'm doing what I need to be doing.

I look through my remedies and find what the book is suggesting I give to my "patient".
And as I look around and see what I have, I deduct which one will work the best.
Flu is hitting the country and this family is planning on not doing it the traditional way.
We will fight it naturally--because that's just who we are.
Oh and by the way, we hit it homeopathically and herbally.

While we have had to go to the doctor a few times over the years (like for sprained and cut things), my children have not had to go to the medical doctor for anything like strep throats or earaches ever.
Ever.
Like 12 years.
And it has saved us an immeasurable amount of money.

Like Martha would say: "It's a good thing."


~B

Sweet!

We got a preview of our pictures!

They are beautiful--priceless--worth every penny.

Of course, I'm not going to show you them on here,
because this blog is a secret--shh!


~B

Photo shots by fulllifephoto.com

Family Photos

Today, after a five year hiatus, we had family pictures taken by a professional--it was great.

My hubby was so encouraged that this was a photographer that wasn't all snotty and into herself--he was really impressed, as so was I!

We had a fun time, we went to a park for a while (it was FREEZING COLD) and then we went downtown, while a million marching bands were marching on by. We went to a museum, and, and, and..... it was fun. {Although I got frustrated that my children wouldn't just make "natural" faces once in a while!}

But now the problem is---WAITING. I can't stand waiting. We keep checking her photo website to see if she'll give us just ONE glimpse of what happened--we can hardly wait!!

~B

Divorce

My brother's wife served him divorce papers last night.

She has the kids in another town in her new apartment.

The custody hearing is on Monday, for her to get temporary custody until the divorce is final.

The weren't getting along for years, but I never thought that she would pull this with the kids.

The odd thing is, is that it's my brother that spends all of his time with the children.

Everywhere he is, when he's not at work, is spent with his children.

Just the past two weeks he drove his son to hockey practice EVERYDAY in a town an hour away from his work.

He is the one who makes the dentist appointments.

He is the one who takes them to get their family pictures taken.

He is the one who does almost everything for them.

Almost EVERYTHING.

And now she wants temporary custody of them? She suddenly wants to be in their lives all the time?

His kids are with him ALL OF THE TIME.

My heart is broken for my brother--broken.

Now remind me WHY there is any good in divorce?

~B

Expectations of Parenting

When the children were younger, the rules were so much easier.

• "Don't touch that."
• "Don't say rude words."
• "Don't hit."
• "Don't run out into the street."
• "Don't throw your food."
• "Touch the kitty softly."
  

These things are easy. These things are clear to my head.

But now, they are older. The rules are harder and it's more difficult to know what boundaries to put up and what freedoms to hand them.

Maybe it's the handing them part that I am failing at. Maybe I need to make them earn or work for what they expect???? It's so hard to know right now.

Example: When they were younger, table manners were a must. We were really patient with them; one can't expect a four year old to not spill food or to keep neat. But now that they are much older than that, I want to expect good table manners, but I also don't want to be the "table police" monitoring their every move...... I want them to feel the freedoms that they have earned, without me breathing down their necks.

I have been asking God to help me. I need to know what boundaries to put up for a 12 year old, 2 eleven year olds and a seven year old. I was ultimately "perfect" at knowing what to expect from them when they were younger, now I seem to fail at every attempt to do what I need to do.

See, the problem is that I want them to have freedoms. I also want them to respect their parents. It seems that the more freedoms we give them, the more they expect. EXPECT seems to be their motto right now.

They EXPECT to watch TV. They EXPECT to get computer time. They EXPECT to watch home videos whenever THEY want. They EXPECT to be able to goof off (in a disrespectful way) when they WANT to. And when these expectations are limited they look at me and tilt their heads and say "What?!?!" (in a round about way).

I know that it's MY fault.

I have set their standards lower than I should have. I need to teach them to be thankful, I need to teach them to appreciate what we give them. I need to teach them not to just EXPECT that everything will just fall into their lap.

I know that it's not just a "magic pill" that I can give them to get them to understand that life isn't just about getting. I know that it's something that starts the day they are born and you teach them as they grow. The toddler years were exhausting physically, now it's the mental exhaustion stage, I guess.

It's just that this stage seems so much more.........difficult.

Excuse me for my rambling. But I EXPECT that just by posting this, it will take a load off of my mind.

~B

The Birds and The Bees

My husband is snow-tubing with my almost 12 years old son.

The past 24 hours have been spent with us getting ready for my husband to take our son on an "adventure". An adolescent adventure that all parents have to some day decide what to do with.

The se*x talk will be given to the middle-schoolers at our church on February 8th and my hubby and I decided to beat the pastor to the punch. Our son will now know what is going on before he gets to that class full of rowdy pre-teens.

We chose to do, "Passport to Purity" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. It's a 24 hour adventure where the parent takes the child "away" and they have to listen to numerous cd's addressing what God wants out of their life when they are a teen and why they need to respect their parents, etc. Then the program moves into the Se*x stuff. It's done in a very tactful way, though odd at times (just because it is such an awkward subject....).

The parent also asks the child questions and the child asks the adult questions, for interactions sake, I suppose. Then there's a fun activity that the parents chooses ( Hubby chose tubing) and a fancy dinner. Then a presentation of a very special gift to honor the child(our son is getting a real sword), to show the child that he is being ushered into a new age of his life.

The program is all immersed in Biblical Scripture and the message basically states that our bodies are not our own to play with, we must follow Christ in everything we do, even whom we kiss. It lays a foundation for the child that is on the brink of being a man, right before the hormones hit and the body changes. It shows that child what God thinks of se*x (He loves it~when done according to His plan) and what He expects and what the parent will expect of the said child.

When I look at my son who is 11 3/4 years old, I cannot imagine the changes that are before him in the next few years. He is already in 6th grade (home-educated) and only has 6 small years of school left. He (God-willing) will grow strong and tall and start thinking and talking more like an adult. He will notice girls more and start his path onto his new life of adulthood. How much can one soul take in 6 small years!?

When I was 11, I had wonderful parents, but I think that the topic of se*x was just something that they didn't want to take the time on. One day, when I was 10, my Mom knocked on my door and handed me a pile of red books and told me to read them. I didn't have a CLUE about what went behind locked doors( in those days anyway), and I bit off way more than I could chew by reading those books and they were definitely NOT biblical.

I didn't know how to really handle all the information and I didn't have anyone to talk to it about, so I got a totally different view of se*x than my own son did. I don't fault my parents at all, they did the very best that they could and at least my Mom was trying to educate me properly.

My husband had a different, but at the same time, similar experience with learning about the subject. He had an older brother and that older brother had friends and eventually my hubby learned what was going on in the world of that. He had a very skewed view, thinking that it was just a free-for-all fest for the hormonal soul.

If only someone could have told us how utterly sacred and beautiful it is.

In High School, after my husband and I started "dating", we had decided early on that we wouldn't go "all the way", that somewhere, in our lives we heard that it was something to hold on to. Keith eventually changed his life from little criminal to a God-fearing man soon after we started going out, so his perspective became very solid, while mine (I was "Christian-Lite") still was a selfish view of Christianity. I pushed him and pushed him to go farther and farther. We never actually went through with it until the wedding night, but oh.... when I look back , I can't believe the agony I put him through so many times, just because I wanted to please my earthly self. I had no view of God in my "Christian-Lite" world~ just myself.

I am thankful to this day for my husband's resistance to me.

When I look back at our own experiences and how se*x was introduced to us, I see where we made so many mistakes. We didn't get the opportunity, like our son has had, to learn early on what God expects of us and why he expects it of us.

I'm so glad that there are resources out there that make it so much less awkward to parents now.

I'm so glad that my son will have this as his foundation (a 24 hour period with his father learning about a really tough and sensitive subject), instead of a stack of strange red books and an older brothers' friends.

~B

Christmas is Already a Memory......

Time came.
Time went.
They grow.
They bless.
They are amazing.
Thank you, Lord, for these children you have given us.
Thank you for these scrumptious memories and moments,
That are gone in a camera's flash.
And soon that will be all that is left of this time.
--------
Two older parents sitting on a couch, looking at those photos,
reminiscing about the past.
About their children.
About the past Christmas' joys.
-------
What a delightful life this has been.

~B

Sick Days

On Monday, the kids and I spent the day getting the house ready for our guests to come and spend a few days with us.

We were all excited and milling about. I took the twins on paper-route and we were all feeling great. Then daughter #3 called saying that she didn't think she should go to TaeKwonDo because she wasn't feeling good. I told her to take a bath and didn't think anymore of it. A few minutes later she called saying that she was throwing up......

When paper-route was finished, I came home to find her throwing up more and I knew it wasn't good. One time is acceptable.... twice says that there might be a problem, three times and I knew it was time to call the guests that were coming.

We let them know of the news and they stayed at a local hotel.

The night progressed and one-by-one, each child started their own journey into the flu. They are all older now so that usually get to the toilet right on time, but they still need encouragement from me and every once in a while a hug.

So, it was a completely sleepless night for me.... AND for them. I didn't mind, I am their mama and so this is my job, that I enjoy, even when they are sickly.

By morning I was completely zonked and my hubby offered to stay home from work so that I could catch up on sleep~~ I was thrilled! I went to bed at six and slept in until around 11:15am.

Life was strange, sleeping people all over the floor and every once in a while someone dashing frantically to the toilet. Boy, was I glad that it worked out that our guests didn't get exposed to it.

Here, our friends came to visit us and we haven't even gotten to see them! All because of this nasty stomach bug.

By last night, three of the four children were almost feeling all the way fine, but it took our youngest a lot longer to get better; it wasn't until this morning that she was actually talking and walking around.

My hubby got sick last night for about three hours and then he slept the rest off, but he's still cautious today.

Me, on the other hand...... I haven't gotten sick yet and I am just waiting for it to pounce on me right when the Christmas festivities start, oh I hope not~~ how awful to miss Christmas, just awful!

So, anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Isn't it awesome how wonderful children make this Holiday season? It just isn't the same without children! It becomes too sterile and it's so easy to forget the reason why we celebrate.

Because of a child, we celebrate.

~B

Global Warming?

The world is melting,
except in the state where I live!
Today we woke up to a beautiful, sticky, white blanket of snow. The girls were up
by 6:30am to go out and play in it.
~B

Mass Confusion

Yesterday, my children, my husband and I spent the day at the theater.

What was planned was that they would run through the play without costumes or makeup one time; then they would run through it as a full dress-rehearsal.

The practice started at 2pm. The play lasts about 2 1/2 hours.

Two full rehearsals? With modifications in between? This sounded like an incredibly long time.

I was in theater in high school, but as a parent, well ..... I didn't know what to expect.

But here's what happened: They stuffed the kids in the basement (that is incredibly tiny for 30+ kids) and put in movie after movie, trying to believe that this is a way to control children.

After the kids had been down there for say, 4 HOURS, I mentioned something to the director. I suggested that the kids be allowed to come upstairs and run around. He told me that it was "good practice" for the kids. I reminded him that the play isn't going to last this long, that the kids need to be able to get out and stretch their legs. He just looked at me like he didn't know what to say.

I noticed other parents getting upset. Mothers were talking to mothers mentioning how "ridiculous" it was to expect the kids to sit in the basement for this long. I hope that someone told the director that he wasn't thinking when he thought up this plan to sequester the children for hours on end.

Finally, we couldn't handle it any longer. My husband went down to sit with the children for about an hour.

After about 5 1/2 hours had gone by, I think that enough of the women complained that the director and co. finally "let the captives free" and allowed them to eat. I walked into the lunch room and saw my kids. My youngest was crying, something that is highly unusual for her to do when she is with other people. The stress of all the yelling adults in the basement and the yelling she got, when she reached for a sandwich too soon, had gotten to her. She put her arms around me and sobbed.

Soon after, they stuffed the kids back in the basement.

I went down there right after them, knowing full well, that my two timid children wouldn't be handling this very well. I walked into UTTER chaos. It was awful, no wonder my youngest cried.

There were children everywhere, crammed into a space no larger than a large room.They were not being managed by anyone or anything. There were parents down there that weren't even expecting their children to control themselves. I was shocked by what I saw. Shocked that my children had to sit and put up with it all.

The rehearsal was over, the day was done after 7 hours and we went home. There were various children crying; craving sleep and their mommies.

As soon as we walked inside our house, three of our children started to cry (this is a true indication of how difficult their day was). They needed to have hugs and kisses, they desired it and sat all over me and my husband while we loved them up.

Children are children. They need to be looked at as children, not adults. They also need the parents to show them how to behave in situations like this. But after hours of just sitting, crying is to be expected.

~B

Letter to Whom it May Concern

Hi,

I recently saw the ad for the "South Dakota Healthy Families" about the Campbell family and their twins. What they had was "Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome", I know, because MY identical twins had this same thing. My husband and I chose to keep both babies in utero.

The doctors DID give us choices, abortion wasn't mentioned by word, they said that in order to save the one baby, we could c-section deliver the struggling baby and see how she did, and then see how the other baby would do. We both decided that delivering one baby and risking her life was not the answer, God had put them both in there, we decided that that's where they would stay.

Also, on another note, there are doctors out there that do the "twin to twin" surgeries in utero, which are successful, they are called: Laser Coagulation of the Communicating Placental Vessels. If you google it, it will show you different options.

The reason I am e-mailing is, because today we have two beautiful, incredible and wonderful 9 1/2 year old girls. Prayer is what got these girls here, and even though it doesn't work out for everyone like it did for us, there ARE options out there for people, BESIDES abortion. My girls are PROOF!! :)

Just to let you know!

~B
------------

How horrible that they only got to bring home one.....

Life in the Fast Lane.

Life, if I must admit it, has been horribly, blindingly fast lately. Too much to do, too little time to do it all.

I realized tonight that as I was frantically trying to prepare some sort of a meal for the family, that we haven't sat down as a family in a really long time.

I have not spent one evening at home since two Mondays ago. The kids and the hubby haven't spent much more time than me at home either. We have had something going on every night for 9 nights in a row (counting tonight). And tonight I decided that it just had to change, and I am forcing me and the children to: s t a y h o m e.

So, we are home. Home sweet home! We sat down and had a family dinner, we sat and talked and laughed like normal.

It wasn't a mad dash to stuff something in our faces.

My heart wasn't racing to make sure that we got to the place at a reasonable time.

I wasn't yelling at the kids to get their "shoes, socks, and coats on!"

It's been wonderful. And the hubby decided to skip tonight's activities also..... an added perk!

Tomorrow we will again enter the fast lane and other activites will ensue.

But not tonight.

Tonight's just going to be normal.

Ahh! What a relief!

~B

-----------------------
I wanted to post the song, "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles, but it had some language which I didn't appreciate, so I deleted it and added this other song by Daft Punk " Harder, Faster, Better Stronger". Favorite words are: Our Work is Never Over, A song that my hubby and I hum when life gets a bit too crazy...... Listen and enjoy, it's a remix. ~B

Little Fish in a BIG Sea

As a kid, I was always concerned with keeping all the other kids happy. If someone called me a name, I just got a lump in my throat and took it. If someone pushed me around, I did the same. I just didn't feel like it was right for me to push back, to defend myself.

Of course now I can see that that was a mistake and I am taking action with my children to try and help them see their worth and to not put up with junk like this with people. I can see now that it's fine to be mean in certain situations.

So, here I am, a mother to four children, that are absolutely peaceful kids. Sure, they get into regular fights with each-other and the like, but so far, they have really been compassionate with others and how they treat them.

But now I see how they are just like I was when I was a kid: too scared to defend themselves..... Too scared to lose a "friend" by telling that person to back off a bit.

We go to a little church in a little town and there are my four children, and a 12 year old, a ten year old and a handful of toddlers,etc. When my children go to church now, they have to deal with the very snotty 12 year old, especially if the ten year old is around.... it's not a good combination!

Tonight, while our church was having a special dinner, the kids were in another part of the building. These two girls decided to take it upon themselves to "critique" my two girls in a separate room while no one was around. It wasn't pretty.

The girls asked them questions like, "How much allowance do you get? Oh, that's all?, I get like $10 for helping around the house." Other stupid kid things like this. Things that make me want to come unglued and go up to those kids and scream!

One of the girls, who we tend to see a lot and who tends to be very snotty most of the time to my children, told my girls, "Well, your mom yells at me more than my mom, isn't that strange?" Yeah, it's strange, girl, because the next time I see you, my eyes will want to lazor beam your head......

So, after the festivities were finished at church, we got the low-down about how mean these two girls were to our girls, and it was such a terrible struggle to get my children to see how they need to stand up for themselves. It was so eerily like how I was, I just wanted to shake them by the shoulders and yell, "Don't be stupid, like I was!! You are worthy being treated well by these girls!!"

The problem is, that my girls want to keep the peace, they don't want to lose these "friends" and we tried to explain to them how that's not how friends are supposed to treat each-other consistently!

How in the world can I get them to understand that they don't need these people in their lives? And how can I get them to not be how I was!

I am older now and just learning/grasping the concept that it's okay to tell others not to treat me a certain way, and in some circumstances I am still too weak to stand up for myself!

I am hoping that my kids can learn, far better and earlier than I did to stand up for what's right.

~B

County Fair

This week starts our County Fair in our town. It's sort of an old-fashioned excitement in the town.

There will be judging tomorrow and a parade and food and just cool, cool old-fashioned fun.

I like this sort of stuff.

Sometimes I think that I was supposed to be born at a different time just because I like how old-fashioned things feel. Things that other people maybe laugh away, I admire and think are awesome.

Summer has gone by fast. It's half way through now. School starts on August 21st.... which stinks because then there's no more swimming, even though it's horrifyingly hot here in August.

I homeschool, so school will probably start in September, I think.

Money has been tight and so I have really been trying to piece together curriculums, especially for my son, since he is the oldest and the girls can use what he had used the previous years.

I"m rambling, just trying to get used to blogging again. I went away for a long time and now I want to come back, but I'm still slow to it.

~B