Grateful, Peaceful

I home-educate my kids. At times it's frustrating with being an "at-home" educator because of "regular" life things. The past few weeks have been a good example of how easy it is for this specific HS family to get de-railed.

In a public school setting, the kids would be taken to school in the morning and they wouldn't get home until the middle of the afternoon. The mother then would either have the option of staying at home and keeping busy there or going to work outside the home.

Staying at home during this time, while the kids were at school, would more than likely afford the luxuries of getting all the housework done (or most of it?), getting to things that she is behind on and also having the opportunities to do "extra" things, like getting together for coffee occassionally with others. I'm not saying that this is the case for all "s-a-h-Moms", but I am guessing that a lot of them, take these opportunities at times in their lives.

A Home-educating mom is different. She sets her priorities in front of herself, and she decides what needs to be done for the kids' education and then she balances it out with life. Being HOME is an education in itself for the children, teaching them to deal with the "intteruptions" of life is an important thing so that it doesn't hit them in the face when they are out of the nest. But when the intteruptions become an everyday thing, then it is time for the mother of the pack to set down some very clear boundaries for herself and the children.

Life has been full of ups and downs lately in my extended family. I have been helping one of them and I have been more than happy to be of help. No problems there. The problems are serious enough that I need to take time away from the everyday schedule of HS, and I have been good with it. But now I need to start re-prioritizing.

Since I am a HS, SAHM (you follow?) I am a rare breed and I am almost always home. This means that people know that I am home and that since I am home, well then they feel comfortable letting me take care of their children. No problem. But in the past, it has become a problem and I have started in the past year to start saying no to the people that asked quite often, especially during the school day.

Now, I am not trying to give the impression of complaint right now, that is not at all my point. It's just that I have learned AGAIN about myself that I need to RE-set my boundaries, which are so easy for me to be lax about. I want to make people happy...... By not helping them....... I won't be making them happy, right?

So, this past Monday and Tuesday, school was all set to go, and then life got in the way. Serious family things were needing serious attention. And then a valuable friend needed help with us watching her child because the childcare provider's relative died, no problem whatsoever! I was and am happy that we were able to help care for that child. Then, during yesterday someone else called and asked me to watch their child, sort of in an assuming way, and I just had to stand back and say, "This is fine, I love these people, I need to help." And with all of my heart I am fine with it that another school day was eaten away.

Mind you, my children helped immensley with these other children. And children are blessings and so by us having those children here, we were incredibly blessed! It was an education in itself, but it still wasn't their subjects......

So today, someone stopped by and asked if I was going to someone's house tomorrow for dessert (I had received an invitation). I told her, "No, I wasn't able to teach the children on Monday or Tuesday, I really have to prioritize their schooling over this." The person looked at me and snottily said, "Oh! Wow."

I have to come to accept this. I cannot change my boundaries all the time for everyone else. I just can't. But why is this "Oh! Wow" moment so hard for me to accept. Why do I even have to explain myself?? I do not have to explain my boundaries! I need to realize this........

Just. Needed. To. Vent.

~B