Where is It that I Need to Be?

I'm tired and down this morning.

I haven't been sleeping good.

I wake up and lay there wondering how my Lord wants to use me with my church-it's very mind-consuming.

I want to make a difference.

I want to make a difference for Christ.

I have felt the nudge to do many things for my church, but it seems like hardly anyone else gets on board and I am feeling very low about that (amongst other things) right now.

I want to reach people for Christ.

I want to be in a body of people that truly want to "give chase to souls" for eternity.

I am feeling lost.

We had a a children's ministry for little ones.

That was seven years ago.

They all grew and we changed the ministry to include other ages.

And the kids got rowdy, and we tried to do that for a few years and we moved to a gym.

The gym was a good plan, but the kids were rowdier than my spouse and I could handle.

So, this summer, after A LOT of discussion, we decided to not do it anymore.

It was a BIG decision.

But, the Lord brought someone else in to work with these kids and it's still going and I am so happy about that. I just hope that it continues next year.

Last night we had a get-together at our church for these kids. We had them put together "Operation Christmas Child" boxes and seeing the children, hurt.

One part of me was SO glad to not be the one yelling at them, but the other part of me wanted to cry, because we put so much time and energy into that ministry and those relationships, and now it's done.

I have been in a transitionary(sp) period the past few months, praying and thinking, and praying and thinking, about how and where God wants to use me within HIS church.

And I don't know what to do, or where to go or who to turn to.

I want to start things, I want to fire up my church. But if I'm the only one doing the enthusiasm, is that where I am supposed to be?

Please show me, Lord where you want me and what you want me to be doing.

This limbo stuff confuses me and I don't feel useful.

~B