My Earthly Father

Since August 7th, my dear father has been in the hospital. He went in for a "routine" heart procedure and he came out with his life upside down.

The doctor put the stent in the wrong place...... he covered up my Dad's renal arteries(?) that supply his kidneys with blood...... you get the picture, right?

My Dad is critically ill now. He has been poked, prodded, cut. He has had catheters, heart monitors, x-rays and breathing treatments. He has had dialysis, a heart attack and memory loss. Needless to say: I. Am. Scared.

I have no doubt in my mind that my Heavenly Father knows what every purpose there is for everything. But as I watch my Earthly Father deteriorate into a mass of nothing, my heart breaks.

It feels like a ripping, a tearing, a searing of skin away from skin.

Watching a parent suffer, is agonizing. There are no words to describe this pain that I feel for my Dad and my Mom.

We cry a lot. My Dad just sits there and stares; tapping his fingers all the time. As if he is waiting for a train to come.

When will it arrive? Is it almost here?

I'm scared, Lord. I don't want to lose him.

But I don't want him to suffer forever and ever on this earth.

When will this stop? Will there be a day that My Earthly Father will stop hurting? When will it be that my Mom will stop hurting from watching her husband go from a fairly healthy 71 year old to a practically 91 year old in one month?

Life, there has to be a purpose? Otherwise, what is the purpose?

When will this trial end? How did Job make it? How will my parents make it? How will my family make it?

Oh Lord, please. Hear my heart. Hear our prayers. Heal this man. Heal him, either by healing his earthly body OR by taking him to be healed in Heaven with You~ but please, please don't let him just linger in this purgatory. Please.

Just as the first day I realized that he was seriously ill..... please let my prayer be the same: That Your name would be glorified. That You will be praised through all of this. Please don't let us get bitter. Please hang on to us Lord, please.

~B