I have often toyed with the idea of creating a blog that no one knows that I am using. I don't know what it is about this time of year. I always want to go "incognito".....
Also, I just hate how melancholy I sound when I actually do read my blog and I pity the few readers out there that I do have. I just really identify with my melancholy self, and I do my best writing when I am pondering things, but I feel like I make people sigh and say, "Oh, she's up to this again." So I hesitate to write so very often.
When I first started out on my original blog: SgF, I was always so free, not caring or even thinking that other people were reading it. Then something happened with one of my posts after I had been writing for over a year, where a person had read something that I had shared and then they asked me about it. It all of a sudden pulled the curtain out of my "blog life" and I realized that there were other people that were actually READING it and standing there staring. I mean, I knew that "bloggers" were reading it, but I didn't take the brain space to realize that "real people" were reading it, people that might have figured out who I was. People that could be actual family.
But then somehow, somewhere I lost myself. I am such a good writer when I want to be, I can share things so eloquently when I am not feeling like anyone is watching. But things happened and then I got really insecure and I was just too scared to put my little toe out there and do it ever again.
Dare I start again? Can people deal with an overly melodramatic and melancholy woman talking about her worries, her children, her pain? It all seems way too..... open. I don't really have any struggles, or any good information for people, it's just all about me and my small little life. There are bloggers out there like: Barbara Curtis with her Mommylife.net, and the "Especially Heather" blog, who is a young mother battling brain cancer. THEY have things to share and teach, I really have nothing to offer here, like they do.
The bloggers that I enjoy are ones that share their TRUE views and their TRUE struggles, but yet, they aren't down or depressed or melancholy (eh-hem, like how I tend to be when I blog) ;-).
So can I do it? Can I bare my soul without feeling all that fear? Can I start again?
I'll have to see. Courage takes a long time to gather.
~B
2 comments:
Yes you can ;) If I can do it, you can do it!
Lifting you up before a God who never lets us down....
Heather
B, you have so much to share. You share your heart, and that in itself is worthwhile.
Also, your "down or depressed" sections are still looking up and reaching out. You aren't lamenting about being the victim of all the world's frustrations. You're sharing what matters to you. And, really, it matters to others, too.
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