My closest friend moved away in the beginning of April and now I am feeling it.
Up until now, I coasted along just fine. Occasionally shedding a few tears at this aspect of going on in this life without her right next to me. But now, I need someone to come and fill that void for me.
I don't mix well with others in this town. We have one set of close friends here that we enjoy thoroughly, but they have a large pool of friends that they can choose from. I want a pool of friends.... I realized yesterday that I am coveting their friends, something that I need to stop doing because it's showing my blatant disrespect to what the Lord has provided for me.
In my town, there doesn't seem to be other people like me and my husband. There's no one that homeschools their children, there is no one that is uber-interested in music and art. I sometimes feel like somehow we got transplanted here from a artsy community to a cowboy hang-out. No offense against cowboys, I just don't see where Hubby and I fit in.....anywhere around here.
We have friends that live in Illinois, but.....they live in Illinois. Meeting with them once or twice a year is euphoria for me and my spouse. These are people that are incredibly a lot like us. They enjoy the things that we enjoy. The enjoy a good theological discussion and good music and food. Where are all the other people around here that are like us?
I don't want to be greedy and take all the friends away from anyone. I just want to fit in somewhere, you know? I want to get together with friends a few times a month and talk about things that we are all interested in. I want to hang out with these imaginary friends at the local sushi bar. I want to be able to talk to these said friends and get into hot discussions about home-educating our children, all the while, still respecting each-other's opinions.
Friends, friends, where are you?
~B
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3 comments:
B-
The "coveting" part hit me and I laughed, because I'd just realized that about myself! It's okay to want certain things, but to _covet_ them goes past a line and leads to this unhappiness. Now--how do we _apply_ that knowledge?
I love you for understanding all this junk!
I wish we could get to SD more often. We really have a good time when we're there. We wish we had more people in IL like you guys, too... I don't think your town has a big need for ESL teachers, eh? We think about you guys often.
--Your IL friends. (by the way, where did you go on vacation? Are you going to write about it? pics?)
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